The difference between Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Pathological/Malignant Narcissm

Narcissism is a spectrum disorder. There are different degrees of severity.  NPD is a cluster personality disorder loosely associated within the same cluster as Borderline Personality Disorder, Antisocial Personality Disorder and Histrionic Personality Disorder. All of these are highly charged, filled with dramatic, emotional and extremely inconsistent behavior. Narcissistic Personality Disorder characterized by The DSM-IV-TR, a manual that psychologists use to diagnose NPD and other mental disorders, defines NPD is a type of psychological personality disorder primarily characterized by:
grandiosity
need for admiration
lack of empathy
Additional characteristics the DSM associates with the pathologically narcissistic include:
extreme self-absorption
intolerance of others’ perspectives
insensitivity to others’ needs
indifference to the effect of their own egocentric behavior
"Otto Kernberg MD, a legendary thought leader in the study of personality disorders, originated the term “malignant narcissism” to describe a syndrome of narcissism that went beyond Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).
Malignant narcissism is like NPD on pathological steroids, manifesting additional antisocial features, paranoid traits, and ego-syntonic aggression. Kernberg believed that malignant narcissism was part of a spectrum of narcissistic behavior; ranging from NPD, at the low end, to malignant narcissism, and with psychopathy representing the high end of narcissistic severity." (http://www.commentsonnationalamnesia.com/2011/05/19/traits-of-narcissistic-personality-disorders-npd-and-malignant-narcissism-personality-disorders-mnpd/)
So, if people with NPD are not necessarily malignant narcissists, what are malignant narcissists? Are they sociopaths? Do they have both disorders?The definition for malignant narcissism and anti social personality disorder can be interchangeable.  It is extremely possible for a sociopath to be a malignant narcissist, or even narcissistic but, it is not usually the case that someone that is narcissistic also has sociopathy.  What is for sure is that both disorders are marked with people that lack conscience, or empathy and  have flagrant disregards for the rights and boundaries of others. They violate the rights and needs of others and put their needs paramount. They take what they want, give back very little, and use and abuse those that get close to them. Does this make them evil? To discern that we need a  working definition of evil. The definition of "evil"  from Merriam Webster Dictionary is such
1
a : morally reprehensible : sinful, wicked <an evil impulse>
b : arising from actual or imputed bad character or conduct <a person of evil reputation>
2
a archaic : inferior
b : causing discomfort or repulsion : offensive <an evil odor>
c : disagreeable <woke late and in an evil temper>
3
a : causing harm : pernicious <the evil institution of slavery>
b : marked by misfortune : unlucky
— evil adverb, archaic
So while some people at the lower or middle end of the spectrum  of NPD grapple with their infliction, they are willing to accept responsibility for their actions and seek help to better themselves, most malignant narcissists do not share that same insight or need to "fix" something they don't believe is broken.  The malignant or pathological narcissists are at the very end of the spectrum of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. By population pathological narcissists are mostly men and about 25% women. They are your neighbors, your friends, your coworkers and by no means just the serial killers you read or hear about with dismay. You may never even see the "real" malignant narcissist because they wear "a mask of sanity". John Wayne Gacy was a very successful business man, he had large groups of friends that he entertained, and in his free time dressed as a clown and performed for sick children at an area hospital.  Imagine his neighbor's chagrin when he was found to have raped and murdered 30 boys and buried them under the floor boards in his home. Was he a psychopath?  Surely. Was he a malignant narcissist? Or was he  both? There is a fine line between the definitions and I think that the basic concept is that psychopaths kill for satisfaction/gratification and to achieved their goals. Malignant narcissist, although often cruel and filled with contempt, do not.  Malignant narcissists do damage but, may not resort to violence and killing to achieve their goals. In fact most of them fly underneath the radar of law enforcement, proving they do know the distinction between right and wrong but, will not go so far as to break the law, or be so flamboyant as to get caught. They only lie, manipulate, cheat and deceive to get what they want and when they are finished simply discard the person they subjected to all of their abuse.  Are we to believe this is not evil, or just less evil?  The damage that pathological narcissist leave is tangible and  substantial. The lives of the victims that malignant narcissists  come across are never the same after being "involved" with one. The victims usually  suffer from complex post-traumatic syndrome, depression and a host of other emotional problems in addition to financial ruin, while the malignant narcissist, not to be confused with a psychopath is well on his way to repeat the cycle of abuse to his next willing, unsuspecting victim.  When victims/partners  are in a "relationship" (friend, lover, sibling, child) with a malignant narcissist they know something is wrong but,  not quite what. There are definitely oddities, or eccentricities in their behavior and personalities. Many have described odd gift giving and strange eating patterns of the malignant narcissist in addition to their narcissistic rages, tirades, silent treatment and overall abusive treatment. Are these the doings of someone evil?
My belief  is that everyone that suffers from Narcissistic Personality Disorder is evil, but malignant narcissists, who may never kill anyone, only rape the soul and shatter their sense of  identity for their victims,  are. They are aware what they are doing is wrong but, if it brings the narcissist gratification then the  means surely justify the end.- let the victim pick up the pieces of their broken life long after the malignant narcissist is gone, it's  just simply not their problem . You may see someone at work that is excessively vain, or convey that everything is about them and while they may be narcissistic, they are not malignant nor evil. You may not care to be around them or get a pit in your stomach when they keep needing constant admiration or adulation but, the are not necessarily doing it to hurt you or anyone else for that matter.  The evil comes into play when its intent is to hurt, defraud, cause or inflict psychological, emotional, or financial damage onto another with the sole intent of self gain. Malignant narcissists want power and control, the want to win, even if it means annihilating his victim. He needs to feed off the soul and destruction of his prey, because without it he feels irrelevant. They never accept responsibility for their own actions, blame and project all their faults and problems onto their significant other, or family members. There in lies the evil, to not accept anything as your fault so, that you can feel good about yourself, at the cost of debilitating someone else. They are in general negative, paranoid, parasitic and have an overall impending doom about life. They view others as extensions of themselves and tools to achieve their own goals. They know right from wrong, don't kid yourself. If they didn't they surely would be in jail. They are extremely manipulative and have honed their craft for many years, on many people and should be considered dangerous and evil. 

"‘Having looked the beast in the eye, having asked and received forgiveness and having made amends, let us shut the door on the past – not in order to forget it but in order not to allow it to imprison us." Desmond Tutu

Interesting fact about sociopaths

Is there another way to diagnose psychopathy?

http://www.iol.co.za/scitech/science/news/psychopaths-have-poor-sense-of-smell-study-1.1388420#.UFz6941lSXs

The pathological narcissist as "evil"

Otto Kernberger's  (The Narcissistic Personality" Borderline Conditions and Pathological Narcissism. New York: Jason Aronson. 1975)  definition of pathological narcissism is
      The principal characteristics of these narcissistic personalities are a grandiosity, extreme egocentricity, a total lack of empathy for others, although they crave admiration and approval. These patients feel intense envy of those who seem to possess things they don't have or who simply find pleasure in living. Not only do they lack deep affective feelings and are incapable of understanding other's complex emotions, but their own emotions are mono-dimensional and flare up only to rapidly die out. In particular, they don't suffer true feelings of sadness, loss, and mourning; this inability to experience depressive reactions is a basic element of their personality. If they are abandoned or disappointed, they can seem depressed, but upon examination it's more a question of anger or resentment combined with a desire for revenge than deep sadness for the loss of a person they valued.

 " The soulless narcissist will try to attach himself to the other, and leechlike, try to inhale her life's blood. Because he is incapable of a true relationship, he can only do it in a framework of evil destruction. Abusive human beings unquestionably experience extreme and fundamental delight in the doubts and suffering of other; they also take pleasure in subjugating and humiliating them"  Stalking the soul. Emotional abuse and the erosion of identity, pg. 126 Marie France Hirigoyen.

" I have seen cases in which an individual made an evil choice for no apparent reason other than the pure desire to exercise the freedom of his or her will. It is as such people say to themselves [ I know what is going to be the right action in this situation, but I am damned if I am going to be bound by the notions of morality or my own conscience. Were I to do the good thing, it would be because it is good. But, if I do the bad thing it will be solely because I want to. Therefore I will do the bad, because it is my freedom to do so.] " People of the Lie. The Hope for Healing Human Evil, pg 82 M. Scott Peck M.D.

Pathological narcissists are  evil. When faced with the choice of what is right and what is wrong, they will choose the latter simply for the fact that they can. What they can't have, they seek to destroy. The ability to manipulate, humiliate, or subjugate  makes them feel all the more powerful and since all they feel is nothingness, feeling powerful is certainly better than nothingness. The argument may be made but, in the beginning he was sweet, kind, charming, romantic....but, the truth is it was always part of the ruse, it was all part of the seduction to lure his victim. The narcissist cannot sustain this act.

Narcissists know the difference between good and evil and evil will not win anyone over, so his chameleon like ability enables him to change for the individual set of circumstances at hand. He needs to extract narcissistic  supply, he needs for his victim to believe he is everything she needs. Evil will not deliver on that so for now he will make the victim believe he is good, too good to be true and that's exactly what he is.  What is even more alarming is that he probably has someone else that he is devaluing and getting ready to discard during the whole new quest.  He will keep that " puppet on a string" until he has secured the new source of narcissistic supply. How is that for evil?  He knows what he is doing is immoral and hurtful but, it makes him feel good about his empty self so does it all the same. Without empathy or conscience, he doesn't care in the least what it feels like to be the victim of his malevolence. Even worse still is that devalued victim who has been placed "on hold" and maintained with routine phone calls  and false  words of admiration, known as intermittent reinforcement (see, I still care about you, I call you every day) is now left emotionally battered, financially drained and suffering from his years of  narcissistic abuse. .  She is more than likely depressed from having all the narcissist's  problems "projected" on to her. He has dumped all his negative feelings on her so that he feels good enough about himself  to be able to prey on a  new(fresh)  unsuspecting victim. Surely, if he felt like the true piece of garbage he is, he wouldn't have the where with all to achieve the recruitment of a new victim. The victim that is being discard has been coerced by the narcissist into believing she is the crazy one, everything is her fault, she is nothing without him and that she is worthless. This all makes him feel pretty damn good about himself. See how powerful I am? With all this in mind the victim stays tied to her abuser, even loyal to him. She doesn't see the abuse for what it really is and the fact that the Narcissist is evil, purely for his own gratification. The victim doesn't see, nor believe she exists solely for his delight and entertainment. She keeps the idealized remembrance of the relationship and keeps hoping for that to return, not wanting to believe it was all just an act.  The beginning of the relationship was quite delightful for the both of them. He was his "false self", hiding his true face of evil. The more she adored him, the better he felt about himself and the happier he became. Narcissists live through the reflection they see of themselves from the victim,  the counterpart is nothing more than a mirror for him to behold himself.. It was uplifting for both of them, only the victim is not aware of the downward spiral that will come.  Somewhere the relationship takes a turn, perhaps the lies aren't making sense anymore to the victim,  or she is tired of the fact he won't look for gainful employment while he sucks her dry of all her finances. Maybe, he has even found someone with more money, or someone already in a committed relationship-he has hit pay dirt. What could be better than to be able to woo someone's wife or girlfriend away and not have to really have an intimate, monogamous relationship, especially if the man is everything he is not; successful, financially secure, a respectable family man. He will be everything the woman needs and her significant other isn't only she doesn't know it is all just an act, the Narcissists "false self", everything he wished he could be and everything he has emulated from all his previous victims.  He can have his cake and eat it too. He has found a new victim that he doesn't need to commit to and  he has someone else waiting in his web of lies and deception ( or a few others), none knowing about the existence of the others.  He is exorbitant and feels   that good does not triumph over evil. As evil as he is, he can have whatever he wants. Nice guys surely do finish last. What suckers!

 I once asked the Narcissist after one of his  conquests  "does it make you feel good to be with some other guys woman?  does it mean more to you,  the more successful the man is? do you put in a notch in your belt every time you do something like this"? he laughed that stupid, nervous laugh he does when he is caught lying or doing something else awful "yeah, huh huh....I don't get it,  this woman's boyfriend is a pilot, they are down here on vacation, he is out fishing and  I still have this morning's breakfast on my shirt, I haven't brushed my teeth yet and she comes up to me, what could I do? I  eat tomatoes and tuna from a can for dinner, this man could buy her whatever she wants and she wants me." Can you see the distinction? He knows full well this is someone else's significant other, he does what he wants because it feels good for him and if he can maintain a long distance relationship and exploit something in addition from her, like gifts, money, or a plane ticket to meet him somewhere, that is even better(as long as its not his home town) .The other man is everything he wish he could be and the only way for him to deal with that is to destroy it. The Narcissist has now equaled the playing field. You can have all you want but, at the end of the day, your woman wants me.  This is his coping mechanism for envy and jealousy. It's all about his free will, not about right or wrong, or the woman that loves him,  who has no idea all this is even going on. Pathological narcissists  are truly evil. They lack a moral compass, they lack internal conflict resolution, they lack a conscience and empathy. Narcissists do not care the price anyone else has to pay for his free will , as long as the narcissist gets what they want, when they want it,  for their  immediate gratification. This behavior is humiliating to his significant other and when she turns a blind eye, or accepts him back afterwards, he has now subjugated her. He has shown her no matter what I do, however it makes you feel, you are powerless to leave me, for the  soulless narcissist it is a win/win  The malignant narcissist is the epitome of evil. 

the self loathing Narcissist

Many think Narcissm is being pretentious, or in love with one self. True Narcisstic Personality Disorder is quite the opposite. The need to lie and be seen as perfect is because truly Narcissists loathe themselves and think of themselves as defective. They don't believe they deserve love and that's why any true intimacy is shown, they are at a complete loss as how to handle it. They lie about themselves, pretend to be things they are not to gain the narcisstic supply they need to feel even keeled but, they never truly feel loved, nor do they know how to love. They are empty shells of a person and anyone involved with them is there to serve a distinct purpose; sex, money, supply and for the Narcissist to control so, that he believes he has some sense of power and he isn't the insignificant person he knows that he is. Here is an article from a diagnosed man with NPD. This article will show you their perspective and why their thinking is flawed. Don't try to hard to get inside a Narcissist's head, I have been there, it is a scary place to be. Much like a homicide detective must think like a murderer to discover the truth, I have thought like the Narcissist for survival techniques. The cost? I had taken on his sickness and was repulsed by his way of thinking but, it was only then that I could calculate his next move, protect myself and maintain my sanity (while temporarily thinking insanely).

http://goodmenproject.com/the-good-life/mental-illness-2/not-all-narcissists-love-what-they-see-in-the-mirror/#0qoyUA5zzf50QdiK.01

traits of sociopaths and malignant narcissm

http://www.sociopathicstyle.com/traits/classic.htm

http://www.hare.org/

http://forum2.aimoo.com/NARCISSISTICPERSONALITYDISORDER/m/THE-NARCISSIST-Read-Only/20-Traits-of-Malignant-Narcissistic-Personality-Disorder-1-285326.html

http://narc-attack.blogspot.com/

Toxic Shame

The root of Narcissism is toxic shame. The Narcissist realizes there is a defect within himself and feels shame. In order to avoid the shame and the cause of it, he lives in a fantasy world. In this fantasy world, he can be whomever and whatever he wants to be. His "true self", the one that holds the toxic shame is rarely seen to those on the outside. Instead they see the person the Narcissist wishes he could be.
There are two reasons why it is believed that Narcissists carry toxic shame. One is that during his developmental years he was not given the constant care that was needed by his primary care giver, usually his mother. This lead the Narcissist to believe that he was "unworthy" of love and to soothe himself, he literally blocked the need to have love. He built a fortress of indifference around himself so, that he couldn't feel the pain of what he believed was his unworthiness. This deep rooted manifestation stayed with him throughout his whole life and it is the reason why he cannot possess true intimacy and the reason for his very short lived, superficial relationships. He will not let anyone penetrate his fortress because he cannot bear the thought of that toxic shame he has carried inside him from infancy/ toddler years. Instead he will dump them and remind himself he doesn't need anyone to make him happy, in fact the only one he can depend on is himself. The people he has had relationships during the years have proven themselves unworthy by either leaving him when they realized his defect, or after being discarded they sought retaliation by trying to expose his defect, either way they have shown everyone his whole life has let him down. The real problem is his own responsibility and behavior in the relationship, which he chooses to ignore and "project" on to the other partner, ridding himself of the shame. The second theory is that the Narcissist's mother was herself narcissistic and viewed the child as just an extension of herself. The only way she could feel good and show love to this child was when he made her look good. So, the narcissist learned quite early to become a play actor. He learned that he needed to be the brightest, or most athletic, or any other qualities that gave his mother the means by which to adore him, equating that with love. The narcisstic mother never really showed true love so the Narcissist is void of that true intimacy and believes he needs to perform and be adored and given adulation to feel worthy. Without the adoration, the Narcissist revisits the toxic shame that he had when he believed that he was insignificant to his mother unless he was performing. His whole life is a performance to extract the attention he has craved his entire life.
Here are some links to understand healthy and toxic shame and the problems that follow into adulthood without addressing them.
http://www.squidoo.com/shame-vs-shame

http://www.guardian.co.uk/theobserver/2003/feb/16/features.magazine67

http://www.forwardmotionlc.com/toxic-shame/

http://www.afterpsychotherapy.com/basic-shame/

Shadenfreude /SHOD-n-froy-duh/

Shadenfruede-German word for a malicious satisfaction obtained from the misfortunes of others.

During the idealization phase the Narcissists sees certain qualities in his victim that he himself has never been able to obtain. Some of these may be social graces, a good sense of humor, generosity, and an overall goodness that someone can possess but, never learn to acquire. These traits attract the Narcissist to his victim. He studies them and takes them on and "mirrors" them back to the victim. This is why the victim believes she has found her soul mate, that needle in the hay stack she has been searching for her whole life. Only that person isn't the Narcissist, it's the Narcissist emulating the traits of his victims and regurgitating them back to her. So that very pleasant person she is so smitten with, is actually a reflection of herself. The happier she is with the charming Narcissist, the happier he becomes because he thrives on seeing how other see him. The victim sees this kind, caring person and basks in the happiness she has found. This is exactly the supply the Narcissits sought when inventing this persona for his new victim. He would truly like to take on all of these qualities. Unfortunately for the victim, the Narcissist is not able to do so. He can only feign these qualities and emotions and eventually he will be unable to maintain the act. This is when the "true self" appears. The Narcissist is easily contemptuous when his victim digresses from his way of thinking, or to any criticism. He views this as narcisstic injury and it is earth shattering to him because he needs to be held in high esteem. He will dole out severe narcisstic abuse to his victim. This may come in the form of "withholding", ie: I'm not going to call you, answer your calls, or talk to you. It could also be refraining from sexual intimacy. Although the intimacy is really only one sided, the Narcissist views sex only as a conquest and means of control. Then comes the verbal, psychological and emotional assaults, all forms of covert abuse. Nobody witnesses them, except the victim but, the Narcissist has convinced her she is the only one with a problem (gaslighting, projection) and he slowly chips away at her self esteem. At this point the Narcissist doesn't try to emulate any of those positive qualities, in fact he loathes the victim for possessing them. How dare she be happy when all he can feel is hate and emptiness. He now takes pride in chipping away at her soul and making her feel as depressed as he has during his whole existence. He is the very definition  of schadenfruede. He will never be happy but, will  be temporarily happy in watching his victim's descent into the abyss. She is no longer funny, she no longer tells jokes, or takes care of herself the way she once did. Most days she lies wondering what happened to her, or what she did the person she loved for him to be so cruel and vile to her. She keeps hoping for the man she met and fell in love with to reappear, not knowing it was all only just an act. He built her up, only to pull the carpet out from underneath her. He knew what he was doing the entire time. He takes great delight in this game. She might not even be aware of the covert abuse that the Narcissist is bringing upon her because the abuse is subtle and happens over a long period. . The jealous, vindictive Narcissist revels in his accomplishments. He has initially taken on the sincere traits  of his victim, mirrored them back to her and now stripped her of all of them. He has also probably financially and emotionally crippled her. Now satisfied with his work and feeling omnipotent because of the power and control he has been able to yield over this once goodhearted person, he simply moves on to the next victim. The current victim is the witness to his tirades and narcissistic rage. Rage is depression turned outward so, he has to rid himself of this and put it all on his victim. She will fee the full wrath from the abuser. He doesn't want to be reminded of the details of what a bad person he is, he simply wants to reinvent himself for the next person he can prey upon and suck the life out of. All of this destruction is the only thing that he has in his life that makes him feel some sort of relevance(except for the false self but by now he has abandoned that with his victim). He now holds only disdain for the victim and quite possibly has convinced  himself he hates her, because it is much easier to hate her then to hate himself. He has no internal conflict resolution so, if he had to face the evil that he truly is, he would surely become depressed. He doesn't want to  to deal with his problems or quite possibly believes there is in fact nothing wrong with him, he just wants to move on to the next distraction and continue to live his lie.  If people knew the empty shell of a person that he truly was, they wouldn't waste their time of day on him. He is truly a master of deception,he thinks to himself. His victims  pain and misery have brought him great joy and comfort.

why the Narcissists escapes into a fantasy world

My previous post explains that a Narcissist live in his own fantasy world. He knows this but, the players in his game do not. To the average person it would seem absurd that someone would create and live in a fictitious world but, to the Narcissist its the only way of him coping and ignoring the tragic world of his "true self". The fantasy world was created at a young age as a defense mechanism from feeling the effects of tragic events that occurred in his childhood. Perhaps he had trouble forming attachments with his primary caregiver during infancy. Or maybe it was abuse, neglect or lack of care attentiveness from his primary caregiver, either way his defense mechanism would be to create a "fantasy world" where he learned to not need any of these things to be content.  This way of coping followed him into his adult life and whenever things become painful, instead of coping with them, he holes up inside his fantasy world. The narcissist then becomes whomever or whatever he wants. The more magnificent he is, the more attention and admiration he receives. If he shows his "true self", he believes that people will look at him with disdain and be repulsed by him. The Narcissist has lived in a psuedo world his entire life, he knows no differently. When his "true self" is seen by those that love him and he fears being exposed and his fantasy world possibly crumble, he abandons the person that stands in his way. He has spent a lifetime creating this fantasy world and false self and will do anything he can not to have the stigma of his pathological lying and grandiose storytelling seen by the very people that look up to and admire him for those qualities. Below are some links as to the root of the Narcissists deep rooted shame and emotional dissonance that began in his early childhood. The fact that it began so early in childhood and the Narcissist used it all throughout his life makes it that much hard for psychologists to treat. This behavior and "magical thinking" has shielded the Narcissist from a lifetime of shame. Often times, Narcissists will use alcohol or drugs to mask or numb their pain as well. The Narcissist I knew was his nicest when he was drinking or smoking. He could at that time leave the rigid constructs of his fantasy world for a while. Every question was not met with a nasty remark or comment, he displayed a bit of openness that he couldn't achieve when he was stone cold sober. A Narcissists existence is sad, they are plagued by being exposed and they are constantly retaliated against for their bad behavior. When once I asked the Narcissist "do you ever feel lonely"? his response was "only when I am around people", that sums it up. When he is alone he doesn't have to act, or remember all the previous lies that he has told about his false self. He is free to be the unlovable person that he believes he is. The stress of being exposed, or not being accepted is gone and he can rest easy.
It may start with a significant emotional wound or a series of emotional wounds culminating in a major trauma of separation/detachment. No matter how socially skilled a narcissist is, as a result of being emotionally detached, they have developed a major attachment dysfunction. In terms of emotional maturity, the narcissist is frozen in childhood. They became emotionally stuck at the time of their major trauma and subsequent separation/detachment. Their emotional age and maturity corresponds to what developmental stage they were at when they detached from the emotional world around them. The pain and subsequent trauma involved would have been devastating to the point that it almost killed that person emotionally. In order to survive, and as a result of generalizing that all people are harmful and cannot be trusted, this child constructed a protective barrier that insulated them from the external world of people and potential emotional harm. *1

As I’ve discussed in many of my posts, the core narcissistic defense involves flight from unconscious feelings of profound shame about oneself — how dysfunction in your family of origin has damaged you — into an idealized false self meant to disprove all that damage *2









 *1 http://www.science20.com/practical_neuroscience/living_narcissist-81879
 *2http://www.afterpsychotherapy.com/shame-trading/

The narcissist's fantasy world

 Narcissists live in their own "fantasy world". Narcissism is a continuum disorder. There are healthy levels of narcissm. The person that I had maintained contact with was a malignant narcissist, also known as a sociopath. These types of narcissists live in a fantasy world so, they can "reinvent" a false self. They try to invent someone people would look up to like a war hero, or a person who might have participated in helping during a disaster such as 9/11. The "false self " is the character that they have invented. Unbeknownst to those close to the narcissist, this character is just a charade. The narcissist will tell lies to build up the character and attract admiration and attention. The narcissist knows if their "true self" were to be discovered that the charade would be up and their "fantasy world" shattered. They will go to great lengths to keep the charade up, such as silencing the victim through verbal assaults (narcisstic rage) and threatening them. They will also become involved in smear campaigns, claiming the victim is psychologically ill, or a drug addict, or alcoholic. The irony in this, as that these things are exactly what the malignant narcissist's "true self" is composed of. It is called "projection". They project all their maladies onto their victim and take on the role of victim. Pity is one of the best weapons in their arsenal. My ex is a "psycho", she makes up all these things about me. She just wants me back....etc, anything to discredit the real victim and be able to keep the "false self" intact. This projection will also be part of the Narcissits bait for a new victim. Now, that the Narcissist has projected all his bad traits onto someone else, he feels good about himself. First, he has defeated his victim by blaming her for everything, and believed he has "won" over her by verbally assaulting her to her face and to anyone else that will listen. Secondly the Narcissist now feels good enough to try and procure a new victim, one that has never been privy to his narcisstic tirades, his pathological lying and webs of deception. He will also play the "pity" card to aid in this procurement of a new supply of a fresh victim. You will notice that most Narcissists have a series of short lived, superficial relationships. As soon as their "true self" emerges the devaluation and discard stages begin. He will do anything and everything to protect his "false self" and since he lacks empathy and a conscience, that means discarding anyone he feels threatened by like a piece of used chewing gum.

Here is a good article describing traits of those with Narcissistic personality disorder
http://newsandtribune.com/columns/x519390954/JOHNSON-A-narcissist-s-world